Friday, March 27, 2009
From the very depths of Hell
Do you see this?
I said, do you see this?
This my blogging BFF's is Satan's most effective temptation; made from in the very depths of Hell from the fires of Mount Doom. Specially formulated to make your booty grow two dress sizes overnight, it is a force to be reckoned with and the cause of much of my despair.
You've heard about the trap that is set in Africa to catch monkeys? There's a box with a hole big enough for a monkey's open hand to reach in. Inside the box is a banana for bait. The monkey reaches in and grabs the banana but can't get it's hand out with it's fist holding onto the banana. Even when the trapper comes to check the trap, the monkey won't let go and is trapped destined to a life of circus . All for a stupid banana. "Dumb monkey." Haley says to herself as she reaches in the cold box to grab a bottle of Meadow Gold chocolate milk which will never leave her hand until every little drop has disappeared down her throat. This is my drug, my heroin.
Do you see what's right to the left of the "M" in milk? What? Nothing? You don't see the 2% either? Satan's tricky that way, he'll make something look innocent and then after you've chugged down your third bottle of the day the 2% shows up. Clever adversary...well done, point for you.
What that pesky little devil doesn't realize is that I have a secret weapon, an angel sent from heaven above...
No, not him. And stop trying to look up his little loincloth!!!
Thanks to Jillian, because of her and "30 Day Shred," not only will I be able to defeat this drug flowing through my veins and puddling up on my bummy-bum- bum, but I'll never feel pain in my arms again. That's right my friends, one work out has left my arms flopping uselessly at my sides.
I look forward to decorating cakes with my toes, anyone need a birthday cake?
Posted by Nate Judd at 2:20 PM