Thursday, April 9, 2009

Acting vs. Modeling

Monday evening found me sitting next to my sister, nervously waiting for our names to be called. My mind was focused on the words that would come from my lips as my eyes looked around the room at strangers also waiting to hear their names. Like me, some were nervous, some greeted each other and talked excitedly about the last they had seen each other.
My sister, Logan, was also watching other people in the room. Her interest was more on the male species. I would see her eyes focus in on a man whom she found attractive. Her mind would calculate the best way to initiate a conversation. She could walk by him and trip, falling into his arms, then he would dip her and plant a soft kiss on her lips. "My hero." She would breathe and they would run off into the sunset, hand in hand, never to be apart for the rest of their days.
Oh, wait, that's not going to happen. We're not at a rodeo, we're at a play audition; so the chance of Logan falling into the arms of some cute, extremely well dressed guy is probable but instead of dipping and kissing her he'd probably say (with a lisp) "Careful darling, those heels are dangerous but soooo fabulous. Where did you get them?"
I tried to soften the blow when I saw that she had a target. I'd notice his perfectly styled hair, they long square toed shoe and the amazingly smooth, blemish free face. I'd shake my head at her, knowing that she'd be disappointed. She didn't pay attention to my warning and held on to hope until she saw him hug a fellow perfectly styled male. We're not talking a quick chest hug with a pound on the back, you know the kind, when the body from the bellybutton down keeps a safe heterosexually male allotted distance. You know the kind I'm talking about.
Enough of that though. I knew she'd have to find love somewhere else.
Our audition was for "Hello Dolly" at the local theater. Don't go rushing out and buying your tickets, neither of us were offered one of the lead roles or even a position as a prop. Disappointed?... No, it was almost expected, I knew we were in trouble when a group of 8 of us walked in and the director and producer greeted all the other actors by name. It's a little intimidating standing in front of a group of 5 people judging your singing skills while from behind a group of six homosexual males are judging the cut of your pants and the color of your blouse. So nerve wracking that I ended up missing one of my high notes in the song, dang it. Live and learn my blogging BFF's, live and learn.

Well, at least we looked good. Maybe we'll go be models instead of actresses. How 'bout it Logan? Want to go be Victoria's Secret models? You can model their sleek line of extra endowed bras called "XXX Voluptuous" and I'll model their brand new line of pre-teen training bras happily named "This is as Good as it Gets."
Below are our head shots for our auditions. Sexy undie pictures to follow.


gigi said...

Why limit yourselves? You could so be both! I'd vote for ya.

Ali said...

I'd model their line of tummy tucking super control girdles entitled "Sucking In Just Isn't Doing it Anymore"

I'm sad you didn't get the part. I would've loved to see you singing and prancing around a stage with a bunch of theater homosexuals. That's my kind of night!

hil said...

your writing style is singular, my love. you should be writing the plays AND starring in them. i'm proud of you for putting yourself out there in front of all the homos; it was a gutsy thing to do. i mean, i'm still waiting for the undie pictures, but i can be patient. sorry you didn't get to star in the show, but you failed to mention, modest sister of mine, that you placed, what? SECOND in the LDS BC Idol singing contest! now THAT is nothing to sneeze at. i've never placed second in anything, except for choices in guys' girlfriends. so, so sad. i loved your bra titles and Ali's super control chonies. i think i'll buy a pair. my underwear line would be "wow, this looked a lot better fully clothed."

Colleen Marie said...

Screw the "When sucking it in doesn't work anymore" set, and please hand me a pair of: "Do us all a favor and put your clothes back on."

If it makes you feel better, Haley, I lost a drawing contest because I was going against another girl who was a lefty, and the most vocal of the judges was also a lefty. And while her butterfly was better than mine, my cake kicked butt, and Penny, my cyclops, should have totally won the "draw a face" category. Umm, we were killing time before the end of class. State testing week.

Colleen Marie said...

I forgot to mention: Did you see on the news how Bristol Paylin's ex-fiance came out and said that the family was being mean and untruthful. Also, that he wasn't doing this for attention, but he did hope to get a modeling or acting gig out of this exposure.
I bet they asked him that question after her thought the interview was over. I just thought of it with your title.

Jocelyn said...

So maybe you won't be a big actress, and let's be honest honey, the model thing isn't going to happen now either now that you've publicly admitted to having more than two silver hairs. There's always singing. I think I still have the demo tape my dad recorded for us at the radio station.

We could have been big, I tell ya!

Oh, and Logan, hang in there. Hot gay guys just don't realize what a terrible terrible tease they are.

The Cinderella Life said...

I love your writing style, Haley. I,along with Hillary, think you could write the plays and star in them as well! You are brave. It takes courage to try out for things and grace to make fun of yourself for not making it.I love you!