Friday, June 19, 2009

Filling the Void

As my obsession with Star Trek slowly dwindled away and eventually diminished at about 14 years of age, I found myself feeling empty and lost. The walls of my room were bare due to the disposal of all my Star Trek memorabilia. I walked the world without any real direction, in a haze, a shell of the talented, budding Ensign that was as one time to be my chosen profession.
Other interests amused me from time to time: Alex Rodriguez, Michael Russell, Whoppers, Ninja Turtles. But none could truly fill the void.

One day many years later, in fact I was 20, my dad drug me (literally drug me kicking and screaming which is not very becoming of a 20 year old) to the world wide anticipated "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring." I didn't want to go, I didn't care. I had never read the books, I didn't know what the story was about and I just DID NOT WANT TO GO!!!!

Moments after the movie started my eyes stared mesmerized at the screen as slowly the empty void in my poor little broken soul filled with the broth of Middle Earth healing. Oh my, so many strong good looking men and what a story. I don't think I took one breathe during the whole movie.
By the end of the first epic adventure, my love for Worf had been replaced by the tall willowy Legolas (things never would have worked out between Worf and I anyway. We're both too proud plus I didn't want kids with wrinkled foreheads) with his flowing hair and little tights. Good-bye Worf

From that moment on my world was full of color. I frolicked happily from day to day with Legolas on my mind and at night with him in my dreams.

*Note: The next part of this story is embarrassing and should not be mentioned outside of the blogging world. What happens on the blog stays on the blog.

My obsession with Lord of the Rings reached a point that I imagined myself in the story, I became one of the Fellowship. What type of creature was I? I was hoping you wouldn't ask. I imagined myself...I can't believe I'm admitting to this...I imagined myself as a sort of Amazon woman with the ability to morph in to a horse. I was a mixture of Indiana Jones/Tarzan/Sara Croft and I was amazing.
I was right next to Aragorn and Gimley as we defended the Hobbits from the Oraki. I cried when Boramir was killed. Legolas and I had a secret wedding while we were in Rivendale. Frodo had a little crush on me which caused much contention between him and Legolas, my husband.

What differed from this more "mature" obsession and my childhood Star Trek obsession was that I lived and breathed Star Trek publicly. If I had a Star Trek uniform I probably would have worn it to school every day, my mom would have had to wait until I fell asleep at night to peel it off me so she could wash it.
My "thing" with LotR was that I didn't let many people know that I couldn't think of anything else except saving Middle Earth from the destruction of Salron. People didn't know that when they were talking to me and I was responding, I really saw Legolas' face. I was really smiling at him and staring lovingly into his eyes. In retrospect this may have sent the wrong message to many of the single guys I spoke to. Sorry guys.

My part in LotR was short lived. I guess I should have heroically killed myself off in the first movie. I ended up serving a mission before the other two movies came out. My mission probably saved my life from being wasted as a Ringer. I would have ended up moving back in with my parents, living in the basement watching the LotR trilogy on a daily basis, eating only Elven bread, and learning the language of Mordor. My mom would have to sneak into my room at night after I fell asleep so she could wash the Hobbit costume that I wore everyday.
The 18 months I spent melting in AZ cured my lust for Legolas and the works of J.R.R. Tolken.

I still really enjoy watching that great trilogy which is Lord of the Ring. I've read the books and for a time hated the movies because they left so much out.
My eyes and mind have matured to a new level and I've outgrown my love of Legolas. I will warn you that I still am a little touchy about you calling Legolas a fairy, he's an Elf. Elves are suppose to be dainty and feminine. He is NOT gay despite the numerous reports for jealous fools. (Haley catches her breathe) Let's not quarrel.
Let's just all enjoy the wonderful works of J.R.R. Tolken

The True Fellowship of the Rings


gigi said...

You are just one HOT mess of a girl!

Ali said...

I laughed out loud at reading this. Everyone here in this internet cafe in hole-in-the-wall ecuador is now looking at me. Can you be my new best friend?

oh, and i have had SEVERAL obsessions like that. I'm so happy to know i'm not the only one. because usually I get horribly shamefaced and embarrased to think of my history. i'm really REALLY embarrassing.

hil said...

i only think Orlando Bloom is cute when he is Legolas. i didn't know you were such a fantasy loving person. this story was not only well written, but from the heart and i thought it was hilarious. thanks for sharing your weirdisms and i promise they will be brought up at the reunion!

Aramie Judd-Randall said...

I went through a Legolas loving phase too. I was actually really disappointed when I found out that Orlando Bloom doesn't have long blonde hair in real life. Never did I imagine myself daydreaming about running my fingers through a man's long blonde hair. Normally the first man that comes to mind who fits that description is Fabio, who totally grosses me out. Something about a man who tans himself until he is a repulsive shade or orange, shaves and oils his chest makes me want to barf.