Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Memior-‘Ol Red-Part 1

I don’t think it ever crossed my folks minds to buy a four wheeler, at least they never mentioned it to us kids. It was probably one of the smartest things they ever didn’t do. And so instead of the four of us killing ourselves on a four-wheeler, we made every attempt of unintentional suicide on a little motor-scooter not unlike a moped without pedals. I don’t know where the little red scooter came from, it just was, kind of like there was always toilet paper in the bathroom; none of us kids knew where it came from, it just was. There are too many stories of crashes, clothes-lining and emergency room visits to tell about in a single story. Just know that short of riding ‘Ol Red off our mud jumping cliff (we couldn’t get it back there or we probably would have tried), every other conceivable stunt was attempted even if we didn’t mean to. We probably wouldn’t have had so many disasters if it weren’t for three things, Captain and the thin, wire electric fence surrounding the horse pasture were the first two. If there were just one or the other, it would have been safe even for Paris Hilton, but the combination of the two equaled disaster and usually an innocent sibling waking up laying flat on their back. Marshall and I were smart enough never to ride with Captain (to this day I do all I can not to be apart of anything he’s driving) but Logan was young and so trusting of her big brother. We frequently rode ‘Ol Red out in the pasture, a person could ride with the wind and there were very few dangers aside from their own stupidity and monstrous piles of chicken manure. But between the sweet freedom of scooting along at 10 mph and the pasture; was the electric fence for the horses and cows. The problem with the fence was that you had to grab it, lift it up and throw it behind you before the pulsing shock ran through your body resulting in soiled drawers; and all of this while riding the scooter. Of course we could have turned the fence off but then we’d have to turn it back on and that just took too much time and so we all became apt at the grab, lift and throw method. Because Captain spent as much time fixing ‘Ol Red as he spent crashing it, he drove it the most, which led to this particular incident of him driving towards the pasture and Logan sitting unconcerned behind him with her arms loosely around his waist. As Captain pulled up to the electric fence he quickly and expertly lifted the little wire, threw it behind him and laid on the gas. He was free. Unfortunately for Logan, Captain forgot that she was behind him and in his hurry to be done with the worry of death by electrocution he dropped the wire right between the two of them. As he hit the gas, the wire caught Logan at the throat not only shocking her but clothes-lining her and knocking her into a backwards summersault where she landed with a heavy thud. As she lay on her back gasping for breathe from the combination of being clothes-lined, shocked and having the air knocked out of her, Captain scooted on, oblivious to his little sister with her head resting on a pile of manure. I think it knocked something loose in her brain; she’s never been the same.

5 comments:

Campbell said...

Oh my goodness, that's horrible and funny at the same time. Poor ol' Captain...always getting himself into these funny situations.

Cindy Judd said...

Who ended up rescuing Logan? Did the wire leave a mark on her neck? Did Captain have to move bricks from one pile into another and back again or choose a switch for the thrashing by your parents?

Haley...Nate thinks blogging is silly said...

Logan recovered and is none the worse for wear. I think Captain was grounded from the scooter for a week. That was almost the worst way to punish him.

gigi said...

Wow you were some wild children. It's a wonder you are all still alive. Home on the range isn't to safe somedays!

Aramie Randall said...

The Judd escapades were not quite as exciting. We were just watching our old home movies and it reminded me again of how much Kacey looks like Nate- especially her eyes. They are exactly like his.
Frank, Darby, & Hill are getting ready to leave. I'm bummed.