Monday, January 26, 2009

The Anti-Dimpled Hiney Challenge

I'm seriously trying to be healthier, stop laughing.

It's true; I have found ways to trick myself into believing that my metabolism hasn't ran off it my daily box of Junior Mints (the big box, not the one serving size). I've been able squeeze into stretch jeans that are still a size 8, if you look real close you'll notice the jeans are uncomfortably transparent. And I've been able to stay the same belt size by keeping the actual belt and just upgrading to bigger buckles. You know, little tricks of the trade...

Yesterday I reached my breaking point as I finished off one box of Junior Mints, cracked open another one all the while making marshmallow treats with Life cereal (I don't recommend Life cereal mixed with marshmallows unless desperate, I was desperate). And so I spent the day slightly depressed popping Junior Mints like they were crack in a box and telling myself that on Monday (today) I was going to stop with the fooling around and get this hot little bod in shape.
The problem I have, besides being married to one of the biggest candy junkies ever to grace this green earth, is that I'm not very self disciplined. Once in 2000 I had a burst of self-disciple when I determined that I needed to quite drinking the 1 litter of Barq's Rootbeer (Barq's has bite) that was my life blood. I'm proud to say that I haven't had one carbonated drink since that resolution.
And so, in my quest to obtain self discipline, un-dimple my hiney, and become a legit size 8; I'm going to week by week, do one thing to make my life healthier. I'm also going to challenge my blogging BFF's who have their own boxes of crack (aka: Dove chocolate, MnM's, Ice Cream, Whoppers or heck, actual crack...) to join in the Anti-Dimpled Hiney Challenge.
Join me if you need a little "uplifting", encourage me if you're content with the condition of your bikini clad booty.

This week, I'm going to begin by drinking more water. See this:

Nate told me that "ideally" you're suppose to drink 3 of these a day. Yeah, If I drink three of these a day I might as well strap an outhouse to my butt. It's been scientifically proven that I have one of the smallest bladders in existence and unless I find a job testing the direction the water flows in a toilet, three quarts of water is not an option.
And so, I will try to drink as many of these as possible without having to move my computer and phone into the handicap bathroom stall. When I start to feel like eating, I'll take a swig of water and skip along the beach (in a thong) on my merry way. Who wants to join me....(thong is optional)?

See how sexy we will be...


hil said...

i will join you with drinking more water this week. i won't necessarily kiss or lovingly carress the bottle, but i will certainly drink out of it! i can't believe you are trying to get even smaller than you are. i have a hard time finding you as it is! Darby is going to have to start giving YOU piggy back rides and carrying you to bed. you don't need to lose weight, though drinking water is just a good idea---even for skinny minis. i will totally wear a thong and run on the beach with you. i just hope my cheekies don't bounce out of control and bludgeon us both to death!

Prissy & Hero said...

You know, I'd love to join your in your challenge. Only, I'd just become more depressed instead of enlightened. Not for another 3 months will I start feeling even remotely better about my body. I'll cheer you on though!

Prissy & Hero said...

Oh, and if I drink any more water I'll be living in the bathroom. This little girl moves WAY too much to drink that much water!

gigi said...

I thought that I would drink more water this coming new year too. But it seems like the last two days that I've drank more diet coke! I hate when that happens. Ugg...

Ali said...

This blog made me REALLY want Jr Mints. Maybe cause I'm off sugar in my attempt to lose qonyoskj pounds. Yes, you read that correctly.

But I will be happy to kiss bottles of water with you!!

Amanda said...

I drink tons of water and it doesn't help me at all. Still chubby. Does it have to be that smart water? Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong. I'll try to support you in the struggle but I have no will power at all.

Jocelyn said...

What are you worried about? You look great. Besides, you already got a man; isn't that all that matters?
I'll join you on the water thing. Especially since I'm sick right now, so I need it. I still can't believe you gave up carbonation altogether. You were right to give up Barqs. It's gross. (It's only addicting because of the caffiene in it -gasp! Why doesn't anyone seem to know that?) Mug is the best rootbeer (the foam goes straight to your head). But seriously, you could still drink carbonation in moderation. What is life without bubbles?

Anyways, if you want me to give up my favorite sweets and munchies, you're pretty much on your own. I love Twix and corn nuts and fritos corn chips (I was pretty disappointed when your corn bag didn't turn out to be something to eat).
Do you think my comment is long enough?

Is it long enough now?

Is it long enough now?

Is it long enough now? Good.