Friday, June 5, 2009

Learn from me my blogging BFF's, don't be vain and prideful

I just renewed my 2 year contract with Verizon. When that happens, I get a new phone (FOR FREEEEEEE, I love getting things for free).
See this pretty little thing?

This was my new phone the Samsung Glyde. Doesn't the name Glyde just sound sophisticated and trendy.
With it's keyboard that slides out and it's pretty little touch screen. The dark blue sleekness of it just pulled me in to it's cool little world. It made me feel special, I couldn't wait to whip it out and send a quick text so my friends could be impressed.

After 1 month with my new phone I was ready to break up with it. It's not all about looks my blogging BFF's. If I can quote the great Jimmy Soul

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife
Go for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you"

That is the advice I give to you all. It's not all about a pretty face and a slamming keyboard. DO NOT GET THIS PHONE! DO NOT GET THIS PHONE! WARNING! WARNING!

I don't think I've ever sworn at an inanimate object as much as I did at this phone (just kidding...or am I). The worst part was when the alarm would go off at 6:00 am at which time I would lean over to hit snooze but the phone had frozen so it wouldn't turn off. Do you know how happy a sleeping husband is when his wife's current love won't shut it's mouth.
Not good for Haley.

That's just the beginning of my day with this horrible little devil from hell. I just want to drop it in the toilet and watch it swirl away from me. Of course then I wouldn't have a phone so I have to come to my senses and pull it back over the edge. Darn technology. Five years ago I could have survived without a cell phone but now (pause as I check my phone real quick to see if I missed a call) it's like a drug. A beautiful, stupid, useless drugphone.

Finally I had enough. I couldn't take the fighting, the name calling, the obstinate way the screen mocked me. I put on my big, tough girl pants and marched into Verizon and told them if they didn't exchange my phone I would cancel my plan and find someone who would take care of me the way that I deserved. My bluff worked, they bought it. I didn't even have to cry or show a little fake cleavage. I AM THE MASTER OF MY UNIVERSE!!! I was pretty excited.

They exchanged my model for a sweet, caring EnV. Whom I love and will love forever (or at least until I can upgrade in two years).

My friends, I'm happy to introduce you to my EnV, actually my EnV doesn't look exactly like this and it's black...but the material point is it's not a Glyde. It makes me happy and it doesn't make me cry and swear like the Glyde does.
I'm going to propose this weekend, hope Nate doesn't mind.
Now...where do I trade Nate in for a newer model?

I'm just kidding!!!!


gigi said...

Thanks for the warning. I hate with all my heart to change phones!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse until it ends up in the toilet or lost to even think about changing, but then that's just me.

Where you been lately?

Jocelyn said...

If you're so addicted to cell phones, why do you always have the stupid thing on silent? There's a vibrate function, you know! Or are you just using the "silent" excuse as an easy way to screen my calls? Thanks a lot!

Grant and I can't wait the full time to get free new phones. We only make it to the point where we can have a discount, but I'm about done with T-mobile. Too many dropped calls and lame phones. Plus, they give all the good deals to new customers instead of people like us who have been faithful to them for SEVEN years! Grrr!

Leslie said...

Haley, after I read this blog I drempt about my phone company trying to give me a new phone. It was so confusing because all i wanted was a basic-- call people-- phone and they kept showing me ones with high tech features.