Scary beyond all reason

Have you ever watched Judge Judy? You know, Judge Judy, the T.V. judge who is scary beyond all reason.

I've always had a healthy respect for Judge Judy, well, I suppose respect isn't the correct word. Respect would imply we had some kind of healthy relationship. I'm just plain worried that one day I might be walking down the street of SLC and bump into her. In fact, I'm a little nervous to post anything about her on this blog, I'm half tempted to just delete it and pretend that I never wrote it. If JJ found out about it she would probably reach into my chest and pull out my beating heartIn fact, in the top 5 things that worries the h@ll out of me, Judge Judy would rank up there between driving in snow and spiders in my undies.

I occasionally watch those poor saps who go to her for help and think what fools they are, why would someone purposely go to hell? Just for a few humiliating moments of fame?
Most of my legal knowledge has come from JJ's own scary mouth. For example:
Breaking the windows out of an ex's car and using the defense that "the SOB had it coming to him." Isn't going to hold much water in court, especially in JJ's court.

I didn't think it could get more unnerving than an angry JJ yelling...and those eyes, those eyes that will pierce your very soul and leave you in a stammering confused state of babble and urine.
Nothing more unnerving until I saw the following pictures:

I think she's using some kind of legal mind power to control that baby. Actually, I think that the baby is so scared that it can't even cry. In it's tiny mind it's repenting of all it's little sins and preparing to meet it's maker.

The human mind is an interesting thing. You see, we fear what we don't know. Well, not in my case, I fear heights and know that if I fall off a cliff, I die. That doesn't make me want to go running by any cliffs anytime soon.
But usually if we don't understand something, we are afraid of it. I understand that JJ is a short-tempered/non-sufferer of fools/mean lady. That's doesn't make me tremble any less when I watch her show and she somehow seems to look right into my eyes and tell me that I have done a stupid stupid thing. That means, I expect her to be the way she is.
What really really scares me is when she does the unthinkable...

...and she smiles. Oh, the icy fingers of hell grab my very soul and I shudder, cry and look for a small child to offer to her as her lips curl up and her eyes widen. I'm stricken with a terror that no person should be able to go through.

Awwww!!!
(I just fell off my chair)
Stop the terror, Judy, do it for the children.