Friday, November 13, 2009

There's no logic to it!

As Nate and I have matured and progressed in our marriage we've found a simple solution that not only gets the dishes washed but also resolves arguments.
We use to argue over who's turn it was to wash the silverware and there was more than one occasion that Nate slept on the couch (his idea, not mine) because of a spat. It makes me laugh (ha ha) to think back on those silly times when we used conventional arguing. Now we settle everything with a friendly/deadly serious game of "Rock, paper, scissors." It's so simple, I would highly recommend it to anyone who can't settle issues with their spouse.
I once heard someone say that if a couple is fighting they should strip down nakey and finish the argument el' naturel . I suppose looking at your spouses white (and maybe dimply) hiney would defuse the situation. That may work fine for some (and end things on a happy note, if you know what I mean...) but for us, that is not an option. I'm all about being nakey, I would run around nakey all the time if I could. In fact, Aramie and I have even discussed starting our own nudist colony. So, I would strip down in two seconds flat. The problem is Nate. You see, Nate, doesn't like being naked. In fact he only gets naked for 2 1/2 reasons. We will not be discussing these reasons at this time. Just know that none of those nakey times include a commando argument.

"Do these sufficiently hide my thunder?"

I have the alarming signs of a chronic gambler because I always challenge Nate to RPS for silly little things. Who has to turn out the light? One, two, three....rock...I lose, dang it! Who has to return the dvd to redbox? 1, 2, 3...rock...I lose, crap! Who has to wash the 2 day old dinner pot? 1, 2, 3...PAPER...I lose, I hate this stupid game! I just can't seem to stop no matter how many times I have to wash dishes (I HATE washing dishes) just that 50/50 chance that I might win just makes me start to sweat with anticipation. "One more time" I tell myself "I can beat this, just one more game and I'll stop." But it never stops. Nate sometimes just takes pity on me and won't even play, at that point you know I'm in a sad state because Nate's lack of compassion is legendary. It's pretty pathetic when a person has to do the dishes 5 nights in a row because she's too dumb to stop the insanity.

Who came up with RPS anyway? It doesn't make any sense. Why would paper win over rock? Scissors cutting paper, yes, that has logic. Rock smashing scissors (my personal favorite), completely understandable. But paper covering rock that's a load of bull if you ask me. It's also my everlasting downfall.

So next time you see me, be kind. Wash my dishes for me and don't tempt me with rock, paper, scissors because I don't think I can handle anymore heartache.


hil said...

we, too, have employed RPS to make decisions! i am always the one to do the dishes as i Frank seems to think that there is a dish fairy who goes around the house and does the dirty work. but RPS almost always decides what to eat, where to go, what to do, etc. it's a phenomenal plan; and i'm much better at it than i am at geech.

Ali said...

I feel like I am a never nude at moments as well. If caught in a nude situation, I try to hide myself like a naked person in a comic strip. Less effective when you are my size.

I need to start using RPS more. It has worked in the past, and for some reason has fallen out of favor here at the Loor house. Gotta do it. No more fights!