I have bad news to report to my blogging BFF's. You see, I started taking violin lessons from my good friend Cleo.
This is Cleo, she's so great. I love her!
The actual "taking lessons" part isn't the bad news. The bad news is that I'm not the violin prodigy that I was pretty certain I was. Is it possible to be a prodigy at age 28?
When I was young I took violin lessons with a small group of kids. I wasn't a prodigy then either but I did win an award for "most improved" player (that award pretty much says "At least you don't stink as much as you did before.") my award was a little pink ice cream cone shaped key chain. I remember that award with pride. I ended up quitting violin because I couldn't read music notes. I didn't understand them and so I would just sit in my chair with my violin in my lap and tears in my eyes waiting for the lesson to get over and praying that the teacher would be so busy with the other kids that she wouldn't notice me.
Years later I learned how to play the piano and read notes.
I can read notes! How hard can the violin be now? In my mind I began to plan my first concert. I would start with "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" followed by "Pachelbel Canon in D" and I would end the evening with a magical piece I had written that I called "Prodigy" which would lead my audience through a musical story of my life as a violin prodigy. I would dedicate my success to Cleo for the one violin lesson that she gave which in turn I shared my gift with the world.
I imagine my publicity photo would look something like this:
Of course there are two big "cosmetic" issues that I'd have to work out...
Anyway, Wednesday was my second violin lesson and it was not pretty, not pretty at all. How can I read the notes if I can't even hold the stinkin' bow right? I kept waiting for my raw natural talent to reveal itself, but to no avail. I felt my dream slowly slip away as I kept locking my thumb and played the wrong string.
Good bye fame, good bye my hopes and dreams, good bye my two beautiful fake breasts that would looking so striking next to a violin.
I will have to just be a normal person struggling to play a violin and hoping that in the near future I'll at least be able to play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in a way that won't make cats hiss and Nate cry. **Sigh***