The first Thanksgiving began with a phone call (I mean a letter) from Pilgrim Hil who said that Pilgrim Dustin and Pilgrim Jess would be driving (riding on horseback) from San Diego (the wild unknown wilderness) to Mesa (the desert of unknown Indian land).
Pilgrim Nate and his lovely wife, Pilgrim Haley somehow were also invited to leave the comfort and safety of Thanksgiving dinner at Grandmas and decided to drive (ride on horseback) to the unknown Indian land to celebrate Thanksgiving with the other Pilgrims.
Pilgrim Nate and Pilgrim Haley left on Tuesday evening to miss traffic and arrive at the unknown Indian land before Pilgrim Hil's husband, Indian Frank flew (roped a flock of seagulls) to Montana (more unknown Indian land). The ride was fairly uneventful except for the hourly rest stops (squats behind a bush) that Pilgrim Haley had to make since her bladder is the size of a large pee. (Let's all pray for Pilgrim Haley for when she one day becomes pregnant, she'll have to carry her own personal outhouse).
The other small delay in the journey was that Pilgrim Nate's horse had a missing shoe (the car had a headlight out) so that while riding through Kanab (we'll compare Kanab to England) the poor Pilgrims were pulled over and given a warning by the King's guard. The shaken Pilgrims took off down the road and not 60 seconds after they had met the first guard, another guard pulled them over. The blessed Pilgrims received a second warning and took off like a shot to get out of Kanab before the whole royal army pulled them over.
Pilgrim Nate and Haley arrived in the unknown Indian land minutes before Indian Frank had to leave. Quick hugs were given and that was the last the Pilgrims saw of Indian Frank, he disappeared forever (ok, not really he came back a week later but if it was really pilgrim times, he would be gone).
Late that night Pilgrim Dustin and Jess finally made it with they're two wild beasts (Bear and Lily, the most patient dogs on Gods earth). Pilgrim Dust and Jess suffered much scourge on their trip from the rain that caused many many horse accidents.
The first Thanksgiving was destined to be wonderful because of the brains and beauty of the fair Pilgrims Hil, Jess, and Haley. After much debate and a few frantic calls (letters) to moms and grandmothers about how to cook a turkey without poisoning everyone, dinner was planned and ready to be executed the next day...
The following cave drawings were found to illustrate the First Thanksgiving:
I told you they were fair. Pilgrim Hil is advertising herself, looking for a new husband since Indian Frank disappeared
Pilgrim Jess preparing yummy stuffing
Poor Pilgrim Hil was very excited about the turkey.
Their mammas and grandmammas would have been proud
Good stuff, Pilgrim Martha Stewart better watch her back.
Below is the simple technique that Indian Darby used to tamed the beasts:
Now Indian Darby is taming Uncle Pilgrim Dusty
Hil and Jess made blocks that spelled "Noel." Pilgrim Haley fancies herself a rebel and made her blocks spell "Leon."
The fairwell cave drawing of the surviving members of the First Thanksgiving.
(The Indians brought Pilgrim Nate back and accused Pilgrim Haley of cheating them out of their potato masher. They said that despite Pilgrim Nate's good looks, they had enough ornery squaws they didn't need another one.)
....And now, because I take every opportunity to make fun of those I love the most...I would like to share with my blogging BFF's the most horrible picture EVER taken of me...
Yea, I don't know what's going on there, there's nothing I can say to make the picture any better.