Here it is folks, the cure-all for anything that ails ya'

The Japanese have wasabi...
The Koreans have kimchi...
The Chinese have ginseng...
The Ecuadorians have lemons...
The Irish have beer...

These countries all claim to have the cure-all for any disease known to man. "A slice of lemon on your forehead will cure a headache." "A pint of bear will make all your troubles go away (that one might work...)" "Kimichi will clean out your sinuses." You get where I'm going with this.
Well, I would like to join in the ranks of these great civilizations by introducing what I consider to be my cure-all.
The Cornbag! Ta Da!! What? No applause? Oh, I see, you don't believe me. I have to prove to you that this will cure anything that ails ya'?

As a side note...
I was once told that exfoliating was a woman's cure all. A 19 year old Elder from my mission told me this after he epilated* his thighs. He called me in extreme agony as ingrown hairs started to cause red bumps to his chicken legs. I told him the best thing for him to do was soak in a warm tub and exfoliate. Was I wrong to suggest that? After all, he was the fool that epilated his thighs (gross, I just had a mental image of his thighs). After I told him to exfoliate he yelled at me "EXFOLIATE? Is that your cure for everything? Oh, I have cramps, I know, I'll exfoliate. Look at me, I'm in labor, just exfoliate and that kid will pop right out." Obviously he was in pain and didn't know what he was saying, it built character, now he knows some of the pains of womanhood.

Back to the Cornbag...Seriously, if my house was on fire and I could only save one thing, it would be my cornbag. I would run out the door bare-bum nakey as long as I had my cornbag.
Those who don't know what a cornbag is, let me explain and watch you become a cornbagger as well. They're so simple, all you do is sew clothe (flannel is nice and soft) just like you would a pillow, then you buy some feed corn at your local feed and grain store (usually comes in 50 lb bags for about $10.00), sew the bag completely up, stick in the microwave for about 3 min and enjoy the warmth on your cold little tootsies. Make sure you use feed corn which has been treated and won't turn your cornbag into a glorified movie snack (popcorn).
Natey-poo wasn't a fan at first, actually, he's a closet cornbagger. In the daylight, he looks just like any red-blooded man but at night when it's dark and the heat is down, you won't hear him complain when I slip a warm cornbag under his blanket.
Have cold toes? Cornbag will fix that. Cramps, yes, the amazing cornbag is the answer. Bruise, sprain, pulled muscle, kinked neck, hemeroid (the cornbag has never been tested on hemeroids but a hot kernel of corn in the booty is sure to clear it right up).
I know, you're thinking "Haley's lost her stinkin' mind." But I haven't, I'm not crazy. And just to prove to you that I'm not loco, I'm going to give away a homemade cornbag. Two things are required to enter the "Great Cornbag Giveaway." First requirement, if your house was on fire, what would be the one thing you would save? Second, the winner or the cornbag must promise to tell about their cornbag experience either on their own blog or in my comments section. Deal? Ok, just leave your answer on my comments and I'll pick a random winner out of Nate's hat. Giveaway will end next Wed. the 28th at 5:00 PM.