Monday, April 27, 2009
The Legend of Full-o-Bull
A couple of weeks ago two of my siblings spent the night. We'll call them Wake at your own Risk and Full-o-Bull just so I don't embarrass anyone. Wake at your own Risk likes to sleep in so she snuggled down in a buffalo robe preparing for a nice Saturday sleep-in-day. Full-0-Bull likes to wake up at the bum crack of dawn, it's old hat to him now since he likes to go hunting early in the mornings.
Nate, who we'll call Ornery Buzzard, was on lookout for enemy scouts so he was gone that night but arrived at 7:30ish exhausted and ready to sleep for a few hours. As for me, you can call me Saucy Tang, I like to sleep in but I had a bunch of errands (gathering berries, getting the oil changed in the horse, making Ornery Buzzard a new loincloth) that needed to be done so I was planning to wake up about 8:00 or so.
I'm just setting up the story, remember a few key points:
-Ornery Buzzard had worked all night and was ready to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the tepee floor
-Full-o-Bull had been awake since 6:00 am
-Wake at your own Risk slept through the whole thing
-I went into the living room at about 8:15 or so to see if my siblings needed anything, you know, play a good hostess
The following conversation then commenced:
Full-o-Bull- You're water pressure sure isn't very good.
Saucy Tang- Oh, you took a shower already?
F-o-B- Yeah, I've been awake since 6 am.
ST- Did I have clean towels in the bathroom?
F-o-B- No, I just used one of the towels hanging up in there.
ST- Really? (Thinking to myself, "gross I haven't washed any of those towels in at least a week")
ST- Why didn't you come wake me up? I would given you a clean towel.
F-o-B- I didn't want to go in your bedroom, I didn't know what you and Ornery Buzzard might be doing.
ST- Sure that makes sense, he just barely staggered to bed but first let's fool around a little bit while my siblings are in the other room. I've got a little more class than that.
F-o-B- Well I didn't know.
ST- Out of curiosity, what towel did you you?
F-o-B- The brownish/tan one.
(Saucy Tang wrinkles her nose at the thought)
End of Conversation
The tan towel belongs to Ornery Buzzard. Ornery Buzzard is very clean and showers at least once and occasionally twice a day. Once Ornery Buzzard has cleaned every inch on his body he reaches for his towel and promptly dries every crevice on his body. If you need a visual please imagine his towel as a piece of floss and his tushy needing to be flossed. Nate likes to make sure everything is dry to the fullest extent. (End of visual). Ornery Buzzard had just happened to have taken two showers the day before so there was a week and 1 days worth of unwashed, flossing towel hanging on the bathroom rack.
I can just imaging Full-o-Bull turning off the shower, opening the curtain and reaching for the first towel he laid his eyes on. He reached out and snagged it off the rack and vigorously began to dry his face off. Perhaps he enjoyed the sent of the fabric softener I use, he makes a mental note to ask me where he can get a bottle of such good smelling stuff.
I would have told him it was called "Tushy Sweet with scent Guard."
Full-o-Bull, you nasty brother, you nasty!
Posted by Nate Judd at 2:32 PM