Over the course of my life I've figured that you're a pretty nice guy. I mean, you spend all night Christmas Eve delivering presents to kids who may or may not deserve it. You receive more mail than possibly Hannah Montana (I have not proof of this statement nor do I care to know if it's correct) and not one letter is solely to say "hey, how the heck are you?" Really, does anyone ever ask Santa what he wants for Christmas? I've always wondered if there were any extra perks, you know, besides the gift of bringing laughter and joy to children all over the world.
I'm writing you this letter because I'm a pretty nice person too. You see, I'm married to Nate Judd. What? You remember him? Yes, I know he was on the top of your Naughty List. He's not so naughty anymore even though there are some days that I'd like to put a piece of coal in his stocking and hit him over the head with it. Anyway, I'm married to Nate Judd and I just wanted to warn you not to bring him a Snuggie.
From personal experience of my youth I've learned that you, Santa, sometimes bring presents that children don't ask for (aka: socks, undies, toothbrushes, fluffy pink bunny footsie pajamas...wait, that's Aunt Clara) and that's great. Kids really don't appreciate a nice new pair of unmarred undies until they...actually, kids never really appreciate clean undies. But they don't complain when the undies magically appear in their drawer. Enough about undies, that is not what this letter is about even though Nate could probably use a few new pairs himself. My point is that sometimes we don't ask for things that we recieve but you are thoughtful enough to know that the waistband on little Johnny's whitey-tightey's can't hold out much longer. Please don't be kind and think that Nate really does "need" a Snuggie. I've tried to talk to him about it in the past but for some reason just the word "snuggie" gets his blood boiling and the next thing you know, he's back at the top of the Naughty List with a knot in his head the size of a piece of coal. Not even "A Christmas Story" (yes, I found one) or a U of U Snuggie can tantalize this man who is apparently never in the need for a "blanket with sleeves."
I just wanted to send a friendly warning to you from one nice person to another. We're kindred spirits you know and if we don't watch out for each then we'll have to depend on the naughty people, clad in leopard snuggies, to watch our backs.
Merry Christmas, hope you get something good (maybe a little lovin' from Mrs. Clause).