Monday, December 14, 2009
Phone conversation with my mom
Haley's phone rings:
Ring, ring, ring
Haley looks at her caller id it says "Folks." Haley thinks to herself "How nice, mom or dad are calling me."
Mom: Is Marshall there? (Marshall is Haley's brother)
Haley: No (In this moment Haley realizes that Mom probably called the wrong number).
Mom: (Weird pause) Um, do you know when he'll be around?
Mom: (Longer, weirder pause) Do you know where he is?
Haley: He's probably in Provo mom, I have no idea where he is.
Mom: Who is this?
Haley: It's Haley...
Mom: (Sigh of relief and a short pause) Oh, I must have called the wrong number.
Haley: You were a little worried that a girl was picking up your baby boy's phone weren't you?
Mom: Yes, I was really concerned.
Blah, blah, blah we talk.
How the conversation should have gone had I paid more attention to my father growing up or if the naughty Judd humor had rubbed off on me:
Ring, ring, ring
Mom: Is Marshall there?
(Haley realizes that mom called the wrong number)
Haley: (Haley changes her tone to a breathy, sexy voice) Yes, he's getting out of the shower right now. His apartment has lovely water pressure...He told me to make myself comfortable on his bed.
And scene...I have many lovely scenarios in my head about how the rest of that phone conversation could have gone. None of those scenarios include a happy ending for my mom, Marshall or that naked blond waiting on Marshall's bed.
Nothing ruins a good Christmas season like a funeral, a brother in the hospital and a mom in prison.
Maybe it is a good thing that I wasn't that quick on the draw, maybe Christmas miracles really do happen.
Posted by Nate Judd at 10:42 AM