Sunday, July 10, 2011

Da Bathroom

I have a favorite toilet stall at work. Does that make me weird? I mean, of course I would love nothing more that to rest my rump on on my favorite seat at home but I can't do that 15 times a day (that is no exaggeration, I drink a lot of water) when I'm at work.
And so I have decreed that the first bathroom stall on the right is my official stall. Apparently not everyone at work received the memo. Of course it's the woman that pees on seat who doesn't read. I don't mind sharing my stall when it's not being used by me (my parents taught me to share) but I really don't like sitting in the urine of someone else, twice. And so angrily I packed my bathroom decorations and moved to different stall. The real estate isn't quite as nice but I suppose that's for the best. Friday, my first day in my new stall I sat in urine. Seriously?

I would also like to mention that during training at my job, my desk was right near the bathrooms. I will stand up in court and swear that 4 out of 5 men (I'll drop names if I have to) didn't wash their hands after they tinkled. I know because I timed them. There is no way that a man can walk into the bathroom, step up to a urinal, unbutton and unzip his pants, pull out his little wee-bee, do his business, put before mentioned wee-bee away, button and zip up, wash his hands, dry his hands and walk out the bathroom in 26 seconds. On the other hand, I though one guy had died in there. I'm really grateful my permanent desk isn't by the restrooms.

I think I broke the scale in the bathroom at work. One day it worked, and now it says I weigh 84 pounds. The scale at home says a much different number. I hate the scale at home. Nate says I'm deceptively heavy. I know this is true, I've had others mention the same thing. Nate shall live, this time.


Tia said...

I think most guys only wash their hands if they go #2. I have also been victim to sitting in someone else's urine. Once it being my child and I was in a hurry. Clean the seats people. It takes what two seconds?

Curried Cupcakes said...

Sometimes toilets splash water up on the seat when they flush, but you'd probably know if it was that. Anyways I'm glad to hear you have a new job! I hope to hear more about it.

Ali said...

I think that most urine on toilet seats is caused by people "hovering" over the toilet seats. You know, not making contact with them in order to avoid (wait for it) SITTING IN SOMEONE ELSE'S URINE. I think it is one of the world's biggest ironies.

But I back up the toilet splash thing too.

You could always put an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on one of the stalls during working hours Be the only one to use it. I can totally see myself doing that after multiple pee sits.

Deceptively heavy? I think you should say he's deceptively rude. Or at the very least, deceptively blunt. But I am also deceptively heavy. I think it is the height.

And I am always ALWAYS breaking things. Always. I should start keeping a list of the things I break in just one week. Thank heavens I have the blood of MacGuyver running through my veins and I can fix almost anything I break. It's a good blood to have, if you are a breaker like me, that is.

Anonymous said...

And I thought that only guys pee on the seats. Are you sure there is not a disgruntled male employee that secretly sneaks into the female bathroom to pee on the seats?

Your Bro.