Cowboy Boots comes home from a long day at work. Basketball Shoes asks her how her day was.
"I was long but goo.."
"Where's your lunch?" Interrupts Basketball Shoes.
"I ate it." Cowboy Boots stuttered, confused.
"You ate your WHOLE lunch." Basketball Shoes exclaimed in shock and awe.
"Yes, I was hungry. I ate my whole lunch." Cowboy Boots gets a little defensive.
"I can't believe you ate the whole thing." Basketball Shoes shakes his head in unbelief. He eyes her rear end to see if it's gotten any bigger since he saw it earlier that day.
Cowboy Boots punches Basketball Shoes in the nose. Then she does a leg sweep and knocks him on the ground. Then she tackles him and puts him in a triangle hold. After all, she has sooo many calories to burn from the HUGE lunch she ate.
What? Oh, you want to know what was in my lunch that caused so many bruises to Basketball Shoes.
Cowboy Boots Lunch List:
Banana
Apple
Yogurt
Sandwich (Consisted of: Two slices of wheat bread, two pieces of ham, tiny dot of mustard)
Small baggie of carrots
Basketball Shoes Injury List*:
Black eye
2nd black eye
Bloody nose
Punch in the kidneys
Kick in the pants
You'll notice he has one injury for every item I ate in my lunch. An eye for an eye, baby.
*I didn't really abuse him. I'm not going to lie, I really wanted to punch him in the nose but I didn't...yet.
5 comments:
wow, I don't want to know what he thinks of my lunches. It usually involves a cookie and icecream.
I will give you my food list for yesterday;
One orange
one pear
Homemade Egg McMuffin (Shared with my kid)
3. . . ok, FOUR Keebler PB wafer sticks
1 pkg Little Debbie chocolate covered mini doughnuts
Mac and Cheese (split with daughter, again)
Grilled Cheese Sandwich with turkey and lettuce/tomato
A few bowls of cereal
Seriously, I know I could go on, but I am just making myself sick trying to remember. I know I get somewhat of a break because I am pregnant, but seriously, FOUR Keebler sticks? yow-za. Less Effective.
At least all of your lunch was fruit. I cannot say the same. And if B.Shoes gives you any more lip, you can say, "oh, I' sorry I don't meet your food standards. I'll be sure to call you tomorrow every time I considering eating something and make sure you approve of it". And then do it. After the 11th call, I think he will shut up.
Haley, i have never, ever seen Nathan eat any of those items you listed. i think you should inflict the pain you dreamed of. he deserves a good leg-sweep for that. you guys are ruthless about weight---and you are the two skinniest people in the world!
haha, guess what my work computer let me on your Naughty blog today. Love the posts. you should feed those items to nate and have him see how filling they are.
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