Bangs

I recently cut my bangs. When I say "I cut my bangs" I mean that I went and paid a "professional" to cut my bangs for me...then I went home and cut my bangs because she did a terrible job...miraculously, I made them look worse. I snipped a little here, I snipped a little there and all of a sudden there is was, Vietnam flashback.

I've only cut my hair one other time in my life, I was in 1st grade and was bored. I remember sitting at my desk and snipping a little bit of hair. Then another little bit until the next thing I know, I looked like this:I really looked like that, leave me alone. I probably would have been ok with the non-existent bangs alone, but the addition of my big ole glasses made it a sad scene. When I stepped off the bus in front of my house the baby-sitter took one look at me and said "Oooh, your mom is going to kill you." I believed her. I spent the next 3 hours visualizing the hell that was to come, that's a lot to put on a little 1st grade heart and soul. It would start with a spanking, followed by hanging from my toe nails. I'm sure I'd have to eat a whole bowl of onions then I'd have to wash my brothers' dirty undies by hand. I was never never never going to cut my hair again. Oh the agony I suffered as the minutes passed like years. With tears in my eyes and fear in my heart I looked up as my mom walked in the room. My mom only laughed when she saw my hair. The bowl of onions would wait for another day.

This recent haircut brings to mind a relation who we'll call "Hillary." Several months ago "Hillary" had her hair cut but didn't like her bangs so she grabbed the closest pair of scissors, which happened to be cuticle scissors, and tried to fix things. I didn't think her bangs looked that bad but she spent the next few weeks with her bangs pinned back. Now I too am walking the "cut my own bangs" road-o-regret. I can only think about 3 ways to pull my bangs back, they're so annoying...I just want to cut them all off.
I've asked Nate to hide all the scissors