I've gained a little weight the last couple months.
I conveyed this information to my sweet, sweet husband.
The following is our conversation:
Haley- We need to start eating better, I'm gaining weight
Dead Man-We do need to start eating better. You don't look like you've gained weight...
Haley- Thanks babe.
Dead Man-...except on your butt. When you gain weight it's on your butt.
Haley- (Silence, deadly silence)
***SPECIAL REPORT***BREAKING NEWS***THIS JUST IN***
A man has been reported missing from his home. His loving wife has asked for the help of local law enforcement and the community to bring her sweet husband back to her open arms. Search and rescue has been dispatched but moral is low as there is no leads to the man's disappearance.